HPR HERO TAMARA GORDON

HPR HERO TAMARA GORDON

“My daughter was approached with a Scholarship offer to a University in the United States. She was spotted at a tournament where she was playing for her city at the time.”

A proud mother reminisced about her once extremely passionate basketball player daughter who played for her high school team as well as for her City. “She was only in grade 11. But we had a university scholarship waiting for her upon her graduation.”

Life seemed well taken care of for the parents of this extremely talented young lady.

Meet Tamara Gordon.

“But then, that one day changed everything in my life,” says Tamara. “February 13th 2002.” A day she’ll never forget. Life came crashing down for Tamara as she was involved in a skiing accident on her one day school trip to Barrie, Ontario.

“I vaguely remember going on top of the hill,” remembers Tamara with a lot of effort. “The next thing I recollect was waking up in the hospital to my mother calling out to me.”

Tamara’s mother fills in the gap. “I got a call on my phone about an accident that had occurred at the ski base in Barrie involving my daughter.” Her mother, a heart patient herself, rushed to the ski base, thanks to her neighbours who took charge. “Tamara got airlifted out of the ski base, while my neighbours brought me back to the city hospital. She had already been taken to the trauma unit before I arrived.”

A day long surgery had saved Tamara’s life. However, she was paralyzed from her waist down. The doctor also gave his final word. “Tamara will never be able to sit up or walk ever again.”

At that moment Tamara’s mother had to put on a mask; a mask of bravery above the tears in her eyes.

“You know, everything in my life came rushing before my eyes. I had been very sick, but my daughter had helped me pull through till she had that accident. But after that, I had to be there for her, strong and positive,” says Marcia, Tamara’s mother, whose eyes still get teary while talking about her love for her girl. “While my daughter was lying there in the surgery room unconscious, undergoing hours of surgery, 25 of my friends were waiting outside, praying for her.”

Hours later, all the cries, the doubts, the apprehensions, and fears all came to an end when suddenly they heard a woman’s non-stop talking and laughter coming towards the entrance of the Intensive Care Unit and went straight into Tamara’s room. Rushing into the room they found Tamara up and cracking jokes with all around her. “She’ll always be my happy-go-lucky daughter,” says a grateful mother. But she knew that their worlds would never be the same again. “And I just had to be strong for her....” says Marcia.

One wonders, if through the laughter, Tamara quite understood what had occurred, so unbelievable was her calm in the face of storm. “I knew what had happened to me,” says Tamara, “I was told I couldnever ever walk in my life, or even sit up, or have a fully functioning left arm ever again. I knew my spinal cord was damaged and I had nerves that were torn all throughout my shoulder,” she answers.

“But I have an unwavering faith.”

Call it a mother’s belief in her daughter or call it her immense faith in God; today, almost 14 years later, Tamara is recovering slowly but surely. “The first time my girl got into one of those wheelchairs, we were all so excited with all the controls that we forgot the basics of the remote,” laughs Tamara’s mother, whose foot got crushed and broken as Tamara rode right over it, being unable to stop the battery operated device. Now they both have a good laugh about it. Her first wheelchair ever, was to become Tamara’s support for life.

As she lay paralyzed in bed for the next couple of years, Tamara went on to complete her schooling with an overall average of 91% thanks to the help of private tutors, school teachers and her own mental determination. She then went on to graduate in June 2009, from York University with a degree in Administrative Studies, B.A.S., Special honours (General Management) with the distinction Cum Laude. She was also recognized as a Member of Dean’s Honour Roll. There is a glint of thrill in Tamara’s eyes as she recalls her achievements that shine till today. In addition, she is also the proud recipient of over 60 academic scholarships and awards. Most recently, she received the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Medal Award from His Royal Highness, Prince Charles of Wales. The Nelson Mandela Humanitarian Award from Planet Africa Awards and she is presently an Advisory Council Member for the Prince’s Charities Canada.

“It was then, for the first time during my days at University, when I realized how difficult it is for a lot of the students with physical disabilities to continue to study due to financial constraints.”

Tamara who had taken on the role of the student representative for all undergraduate students with physical disabilities realized some things were amiss and just not right. She was continuously and persistently bringing forth issues faced by these students to the Access York Meetings (faculty and staff at York). To sum it up, Tamara became the face of hope for these students. Hope for all those students who came from families that had spent their lifelong savings on the treatment and care of their children with disabilities, leaving them with little or no money for higher education. Hope for all of those students whose voices were thus far unheard by people around them. “In talking to these students, I became aware that there was a desperate need for scholarships. There were students who dropped out due to lack of funds.”

The next few years spent at her university deepened Tamara’s relationship with her mother even more, as mom accompanied her daily to her classes as her note taker. “I couldn’t keep up with my writing because the accident had resulted in me losing the use of my dominant left hand so my mother filled in.” A survivor of cancer surgery, a heart surgery, stroke and many other health issues that had surrounded Tamara’s mother were all put on the back burner as she sacrificed every day of her life caring for her daughter. However, it’s a sacrifice that is well worth it.

A person whose doctor had once said, that she couldn’t even sit up ever, had led teen volunteer programs and arranges free back-to-school events for school children and many more events for seniors and persons with disabilities. Driving around town on her own, Tamara goes to give motivational speeches to the youth, constantly stressing on the importance of overcoming obstacles in life and living life to its fullest. “It was a lot of physiotherapy, strong will, together with God’s grace and mercy, are the hallmarks of my recovery and survival thus far,” says Tamara. “Towards the end of my time at the university, my mother and I started doing our research on persons with physical disabilities and were amazed to discover that there wasn’t a lot offered to them. Together we decided to launch a Charitable Foundation for their benefit.”

Post-secondary education is an integral component of achieving income security, yet people with disabilities are less likely to attend and complete post-secondary education than those without disabilities.

Thus started The Tamara Gordon Foundation. Tamara’s vision was clear: to positively influence, empower and improve the lives of persons with physical disabilities by providing them with the financial, social and practical resources necessary for them to achieve self-supporting status, experience equal opportunity to function as citizens of the community, live fulfilled lives and give backto the community.

Says a grateful Mastoureh Alvandkouhy, an Iranian immigrant who received one such scholarship to a university, thanks to Tamara’s efforts. “As a single mother with financial commitments to school and home, this scholarship will assist me tremendously. This has helped relieve some of the pressures on me.” Another recipient, Wynnikka Matthews, who was born with Brachial Plexus, says that after her mother’s passing away, the scholarship she received from Tamara’s foundation relieved much of her financial burden with tuition and home.

What had initially started as an institution to raise funds for scholarships for universities within the city, is today servicing students from all over the province. Tamara dreams to empower persons with physical disabilities by giving equal opportunities through funding. She firmly believes that no person should ever have to give up studying because they can’t afford it. That’s what drives her life now, awarding grants between $700 up to $2500 each student through all her fundraising efforts.

Tamara’s involvement with the youth with disabilities doesn’t stop at sanctioning scholarships through funds that she receives through sponsors. Her role as a student representative continues to shine through her as she mentors students even after the grants are approved and distributed. “I wantmy relationship with the students to be very personable. I keep in touch with them throughout the year, encouraging them, following up with them and sticking behind them ensuring that they persevere.”

Not regretting for even a moment, the accident that changed her life forever, Tamara is truly grateful to God for her safekeeping, sustenance, compassionate heart and the inner-strength that He has blessed her with. “I could have been studying law, preparing myself to become a lawyer right now,” says Tamara. Instead, she found the true purpose of her life only because of the accident that took away so much from her. In exchange, it has given her the ability to love, care for and give to others. “He has a plan and a purpose for my life, not to harm me but to use me as a source of blessing and encouragement to others. By so doing, He has lifted me up to higher heights.”

It’s going to be 14 years this month since Tamara had the accident. The doctor had given up on her. “But, I’m still recovering,” she says, “God has carried me safe this far and I’m confident that He who has promised never to leave or forsake me is faithful and true. Therefore, all things are possible with Him. Who knows what tomorrow brings? Right! I’m definitely not giving up.”

Inspired by Tamara's story? You can share it on your wall and pass on the inspiration! You may also choose to donate directly to the The Tamara Gordon Foundation Scholarship that is available to students with physical disabilities studying at an Ontario university or college.

Back to HPR HEROES

HPR HERO BRAD BOWDEN

Born to an alcoholic father, and a mother still in her teens, our next story is about a person who was incapable to decide his own fate around 30 years ago while still in his mother's womb. Much too little to say no to parents who were going to separate over an affair after his birth. Much too little to decidejust yet that he did not want a man who would hardly ever be there as a father to him. Much too little to not want a mother who would walk away from him and never return. Too little to understand the emotional affects of coming face to face with his half-sister whom he was to learn about for the first time only as an adult. Too little to even understand what fate had already decided for him: To be diagnosed at birth with Caudal Regression Syndrome or Sacral Agenesis- a physical condition that affects one in 25,000 live births. A disorder that damages the fetus resulting in an abnormal development of the lower spine, in which he would have to live his life in a wheelchair. Almost as if to seal this new born's fate, the doctor gave his his final verdict when he said that this child will never be able to move again.

Today, 3 decades later, this man, only 4 feet and 11 inches, is still in his wheelchair. This same man hasalso represented Canada at the Paralympics in Sledge Hockey, over and over again.

We are both proud and humbled to introduce to you, Brad Bowden: Assistant Captain of the CanadianSledge Hockey Team. Bowden has also represented Canada at two Paralympic Winter Games, one Paralympic Summer Games and six IPC World Championships. He is a three-time world champion and has helped Canada to Paralympic gold in 2006 and fourth place in 2010. In 2006, he scored the winning goal against Norway in the sledge hockey final of the 2006 Paralympic Winter Games in Turin,becoming a back to back winner in the same year at the Summer and Winter Paralympics. In 2010, he was named Most Valuable Player at the 2010 Paralympic Winter Games in Vancouver and became the first Paralympian to be inducted to the Orangeville Hall of Fame. In 2013, Bowden came out a winner at three tournaments: the World Sledge Hockey Challenge in Toronto, the Four Nations Tournament inSochi and the IPC World Championships in Goyang, South Korea. In 2012, he was a silver medallist at the World Sledge Hockey Challenge and got bronze at the worlds. Bowden was also previously a member of Canada’s wheelchair basketball team, earning gold at the 2004 Paralympic Games in Athens and 2006 World Cup. Governed by the International Paralympic Committee, Brad Bowden is a member of the Canadian Paralympic Committee, a non-profit, private organization with 25 member sports organizations dedicated to strengthening the Paralympic Movement.

Something happened between the day he was born, when his doctor had predicted he will never be able to move again, to his parents leaving him, to now, when all eyes are on him and his team mates tobring back the medal from Sochi. Perhaps an anger towards his parents. Perhaps the challenge to prove his doctor wrong that his grandfather had taken up. Perhaps the inability to accept defeat that life was setting him up with. All eyes were on him even when he was a child, but then the looks he got were different.

“When kids made fun of me in school for the way I looked, it hurt. Getting stared at while strapped to my chair, a sense of insecurity had started creeping into me. I didn’t understand my own physical disability, so how could I understand others seeing me as disabled?” Growing up for Brad, meant an acceptance of his own condition, which was the hardest thing to do. Everyday watching other kids around him taking things for granted, and then coming to terms with what he himself could do, and couldn’t do, was not easy. “I hated it,” says Brad angrily, “when, while sitting in my wheelchair, random people would just walk up to me and smack me in the head, thinking it’s ok to do that...I would just hate it. It was humiliating. It’s not ok. If you think it is disrespectful to do that to an able bodied man standing tall on his feet, then it is disrespectful to do that to someone in a wheelchair as well. My body just looks different. But I feel just the same as any able bodied person. I felt just the same as another human when I needed my father the most, and he wasn’t there. I felt like any other human would feel in my place, when my mother never ever came back for me. Had it not been for my grand parents who took me in and raised me, I could have been out on the streets, running from shelter to shelter....maybe dead...maybe doing drugs...who knows....”

So what really changed for Brad from then to now, when he carries the national flag on his shoulders while everyone looks at him with hope?

HPR HERO BRAD BOWDEN

“My attitude towards the way I approached life slowly started changing for me when I started meetingpeople with far more serious physical disabilities than my own. I’ve seen people completely burned, people with missing body parts, paralyzed and completely unable to move. I understood how much I could still do. I slowly became desensitized to my own condition, and what people thought of me, or said to me. It just wasn’t important anymore. Then there was no turning back for me. I shifted focus tochoosing the right people in my life. I decided for my own self, how to make my life the way I wanted itto be, and not how others saw it. I chose friends from my own team. There is a rock solid bond amongst us, an unsaid understanding, a feeling of permanence and of being the best buddies for life. It makes a lot of difference.”

There is an eastern belief that goes somewhat like this: Eventually, only good things happen to good people. Brad’s life has come a full circle where every bit of love, a sense of security, and a feeling of being complete has all come rushing into his life. Brad’s grandfather always told him to treat everyone with respect. And he did - and all that has come back to him full force!

Nobody knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, so never to judge tomorrow the way things look today. Brad’s only regret is that he held himself back so much growing up. “I lacked the confidence to lead life...Now that I look back on my life, I feel I should have changed the way I felt about myself, changed my attitude....I wish I could have known then, how things would work out for me in the end....then I wouldn’t be so scared...so insecure....life is to live....and enjoy....”

So arresting is the sincerity and honesty on Bowden's face, that one can not avoid looking at him. Perhaps it is a direct reflection of the choices he made in life. For all those times that people stared at your physical disability, for all those times you got made fun of in school, you Brad, ultimately showed to the world that you are a true hero.

Brad Bowden, we bow in respect to you for the strength you have shown, and for showing others that it is in us to create our own life, no matter what the circumstances. Thank you for allowing us to raise our flags high at the Paralympics!

HPR HERO BRAD BOWDEN

Inspired by Brad's story? You can share it on your wall and pass on the inspiration!

All Images: Paralympics in Sochi, Russia. Photo: Matthew Murnaghan/Canadian Paralympic Committee

Back to HPR HEROES